Almaty: suicide of boy wearing (at once) a skirt

[miloshlavka]

I have found a sad news from Almaty (Kazakhstan, Central Asia, former U.S.S.R.). Sergey Kim (Сергей Ким), a pupil committed suicide after being bullied for wearing a skirt.
On October 27, Almaty’s Nazarbayev Intellectual School (one prestigious schools named after the former president of Kazakhstan) of Chemistry and Biology held a Harry Potter-themed autumn ball. Eighth-grader Sergey Kim appeared at the event dressed as one of the characters and wearing a skirt. A disapproving teacher took the boy to the school psychologist, then called his parents, who took him home. The next day Kim committed suicide by jumping out of his family’s 11th-floor apartment. It is unclear what exactly drove the teenager to take his own life, but police have opened a criminal case under the article "incitement to suicide."
One day after the tragedy some boys at another Nazarbayev Intellectual School (NIS) came to class wearing skirts and held a protest under the slogan "Clothes Have No Gender." (ru: "У одежды нет гендера" kz: Kıimniń jynysy joq) Some posted flyers around the school that read, "Ты важен. Не молчи. Телефон доверия: 1303" = "You Matter, Don't Be Silent,” and include the number for a suicide-prevention hotline.
Many taped goodbye notes on Kim's locker.

More info in English is for example here: https://eurasianet.org/kazakhstan-boys- ... tive-staff or here: https://www.rferl.org/a/kazakhstan-scho ... 35938.html
Something in Russian : https://www.the-village-kz.com/village/ ... en-byt-zag or https://orda.kz/suicid-uchenika-nish-al ... otestujut/

One picture from eurasianet.org:

[r.m.anderson]

Egads - the kid wears a skirt one time for a theme party and a school official ? goes bonkers and derides him to his parents and school psychk !

[crfriend]

I just find it sad -- nay, tragic -- that this sort of thing can even occur in the 21st Century. Good grief.

It's just a ruddy piece of clothing!

[denimini]

A very sad story. I would be interested to know the outcome of the Police investigation and I am impressed that there is an offence as "incitement to suicide" and that they are investigating it.

[STEVIE]

This bit of news goes a lot deeper than sad.
The consequences for the family will be absolutely unfathomable, the effects devastating.
Perhaps it should act as a reminder not to take their freedom of choice for granted.
I am not familiar with Kazakhstani law but that doesn't matter.
What this demonstrates is the strength of societal attitude that we get can be quite glib about.
This is really about a hell of a lot more than fashion choices.
One can only hope that it may serve as a wake up call and act as a catalyst for change.
The cost of a young life is the real tragedy.
Steve.

[pelmut]

I am not familiar with Kazakhstani law...

Sadly suicide from social pressure is not just confined to Kazakhstan

[STEVIE]

Hi Pelmut
Suicide, whatever the cause is really the most uniquely human tragedy there is.
Across the whole planet, it is a human condition that has as many causes as as actual cases.
Mere statutes don't have a bearing on the drivers nor do they give real protection to the vulnerable.
Legal "niceties" do not really shape societal attitudes nor do they mitigate the profound effects they can have.
I have no idea where the legal investigation in this case might lead but I doubt that it can result in true justice for Kim or his family.
It certainly cannot bring him back and that is an absolute unarguable truth.
Steve.

[rivegauche]

There is a danger of over-thinking this one. A high proportion of children are bullied. There doesn't even need to be a reason. It tends to be ongoing rather than one-off. I fear that the skirt-wearing incident may have been one of many bullying experiences for this boy. We also have to acknowledge that our society places impossible pressures on young people and that a small number unfortunately take their own lives as a result. It is very, very tragic, like the loss of all young lives, but I suspect his single venture out in a skirt was a small part of a wider problem.

[miloshlavka]

...It is very, very tragic, like the loss of all young lives, but I suspect his single venture out in a skirt was a small part of a wider problem.

Yes, it can be a small part of a wider problem.

After all, the human rights situation in Kazakhstan is not the best. The report made by Amnesty International is here: https://www.amnesty.org/en/location/eur ... azakhstan/ . It takes more courage to organize a similar protest (skirted boys in school) in Kazakhstan than, for example, in the Czech Republic or Austria.

[STEVIE]

There is a danger of over-thinking this one. A high proportion of children are bullied.

Hi Rivegauche,
I may have missed something but are you assuming that there was systematic bullying in this case?
I'd agree about the likelihood of "wider issues" but that also brings us back to the effects that societal and cultural
attitudes have on our lives. Problems associated with our fashion choices are just a small but not necessarily insignificant
example.
As for "over-thinking", are you suggesting that this was teenage angst that simply got a bit out of hand?
I would wonder how his parents might react to that question?
I rather think that the authorities may try the hysterical gay cross dressing gender dysphoric wicked diagnosis
in order to absolve themselves of any responsibility for his death.
Perhaps if someone had taken the trouble to think it over a few times in advance, the tragedy could have been avoided.
Finally, bullying doesn't always end at school either but maybe that is just life.
Steve.

[Dust]

This is really about a hell of a lot more than fashion choices.

To me, this is one of the hands down best statements on men's skirts I've ever read.

Men have unique expectations placed on them, which lead to unique challenges. In my mind, skirts for men exemplify the double standards between men and women more broadly in society, and how most people are oblivious to what is right in front of their face in that regard.

[STEVIE]

Men have unique expectations placed on them, which lead to unique challenges.

Hi Dust
And this shows how far our individual experiences vary, "Kid Cudi Proves Gendered Fashion does not exist in 2021".
Could have been written for a resident on another planet never mind a member of the same species on this one.
Steve.