Different reactions to kilt and skirt

[pelmut]

I've worn kilts to folk events for years, but have only recently tried wearing skirts for part of the time in dances. At this year's Chippenham Folk Festival, I decided to wear skirts for the whole weekend and , to my surprise, the reactions of people were quite different from their reactions to a kilt.

The first thing I noticed was an absence of the usual 'Scotsman' jokes. Although this seems so obvious, because my long black skirt bore no resemblance to a kilt, it actually did catch me out because I have become so used to fending off these stupid 'funnies'.

The second thing, which I really could not have anticipated, was the complete absence of "Look, there's a man in a skirt" jokes. I think this is because the joker gets amusement from deliberately mistaking a kilt for a skirt; but when confronted by a real skirt, the remark just becomes a mundane statement of the obvious - and consequently not worth the trouble of saying.

The third difference came as quite a shock: on three separate occasions I was asked for a dance by a man! The first time it happened, he was elderly and probably not very observant. I desperately tried to think of a way of declining his offer without making him feel a complete fool by pointing out his mistake, so I just said, "No thanks, I'm dancing as man today" and he went away happy and oblivious of what he had just done. The other two offers were genuine, because of a shortage of ladies to make up the dance sets - which unfortunately shows that the skirt was being regarded as women's attire.

Several people who know me as a kilt-wearer seemed to accept the transition to a skirt without question - indeed, some of them didn't seem to notice at first. I found absolutely no problems getting partners for dances and several ladies said they thought the skirt looked good on me, and why didn't more men wear skirts? With the kilt, people had sometimes commented that they liked the tartan, but nobody had said they thought more men should wear kilts.

[Darryl]

Interesting.

I've put off getting a good kilt until I finish my current weight loss program and gotten a few skirts instead for the time being. A lady friend kept say 'skirt' when I said 'kilt' so I said "Ok."I was out and about in a black knee-length pleated knit, black knee-socks and black leather crosstrainers with a couple people asking if that was some kind of kilt. "No, its just comfortable."

[skirtingtoday]

Thanks for your thoughts pelmut. I have work a plaid kilt with a group of curling friends and on other occasions a black UK. The only comment I got from them was, "That's a real kilt" when I wore the plaid one - but seemed to have no comment about and just accept the alternative one. (Oy yes just remembered, one woman did say, "Are you wearing that on the ice?" when I wroe the black UK )

On another occasion when I wore my beige UK was, "Still wearing that skirt I see!" which was fine by me, if he thinks it was a skirt and was OK with it.

[Chris Webb]

Pelmut, I really enjoyed reading your post! Here in the USA I find that most people call my outright skirts 'kilts'. I wear skirts about half the time, and kilts the other half of the time, I never wear pants of any kind. I think that Americans resolve the cognitive dissonance of seeing a man in a skirt by calling it a kilt. Here in the States it seems that the word 'kilt' has come to mean any skirt worn on a man.

Your experience of not having to endure the Scotsman banter while in an outright skirt is identical to mine. Also, I receive no criticism regarding how I wear my skirts, the length of them, what's worn with them ... not so true when I wear my kilts. The Scottish Traditional Kilt still looms large over modern kilts here, so when I wear a Tartan kilt that doesn't meet the parameters of Scottish Tradition it sometimes elicits negative remarks.

Here in the USA most men who wear kilts use the heritage excuse to do so. In my mind it is the man who dons an outright skirt in defiance of societal norms, or even simply in compliance with his own desires, that has the respect of the trousered world around him. A man in a kilt is in a costume, a man in a skirt, well, he's a man free of the confines of both trousers and societal restrictions. And here in the Land of the Free, such a man is respected, admired, envied.

When you wear a kilt you are expected to wear it 'right' ... but when you wear a skirt you are expected to wear it in defiance of what is 'right'. More and more I am choosing to leave my kilts on their hangers and hang my skirts on my hips. 10 years ago, when I went to full time un-bifurcated, I would never have predicted this. Back then I wanted to be free of the Tyranny of Trousers, then I found myself oddly under the Tyranny of Kilt Tradition ...

... now I am just Free.

[skirtyscot]

Chris, that is the best post anyone has put up on this site for ages!

[dillon]

I agree! You hit the nail on the head. My own son insisted on calling my skirts "kilts" simply because he at first didn't want to face the concept of men in skirts, and particularly Dad in a skirt. He is starting to get used to it now, though I try to be thoughtful enough not to put him in the position of explaining his old man's attire to his friends and peers. When he is older, I won't worry what they think. There comes a time in your life when you have to learn that not everyone is a square peg or a round peg. Some of us have far more facets than that.

[Caultron]

..I think that Americans resolve the cognitive dissonance of seeing a man in a skirt by calling it a kilt. Here in the States it seems that the word 'kilt' has come to mean any skirt worn on a man...

Interestingly, my wife Insists on calling my utility kilts, "skirts," to signal her disapproval.

(She's accepted that I'm going to wear them almost everywhere, but she's never completely approved.)

[Grok]

A nontraditional kilt may trigger contradictory reactions from different people. I encountered disdain in a kilt shop-nontraditional kilts are dismissed. On the other hand , I have been asked where my bagpipes were...while wearing a Utilikilt.

BTW, I have no musical talent, so I will never play bagpipes.

[Caultron]

I'm still looking for a good come-back to the, "Do you play the bagpipes?" question. The best so far are, "Not even close," or, "No, I just listen to music from my phone," but surely there must be something better.

[rick401r]

I have a bright red tee shirt that says "No, I don't play the bloody pipes. My ancestors killed people!'

[Grok]

A former house mate gave me a pair of plaid socks...to go with my Utilikilt. It seems that some people assume you wear nontraditional kilts because of the heritage thing.

That is, wearing a nontraditional kilt because of one's "Scotch" ancestry.

[Caultron]

I think both the bagpipes question and the Scottish question often mask the more basic question, "Why are you wearing that skirt, or, um, kilt? I can't imagine why anyone would do that." So they ask me an evasive question, I give them a smile and an evasive answer.

If they manage to ask the real question, the closest real answer (at least for me) is, "I've been wearing pants all my life. I'm tired of it."

[Kilted_John]

What Chris said. In the past four years, I think I've worn my traditional kilts maybe four times. I used to wear them all the time. Part of the reason why the change was due to a much warmer than normal summer in 2009 (something that seems to be repeating this year), so 9 yards of wool didn't seem to be that great of an idea, when I could wear a full knee-length or above-knee lightweight skirt and be very comfortable; another part was the fact that I'd grown a little (in the wrong direction, of course), so one of my kilts no longer fits; and, the third part was because I noticed that I finally could go along with my life normally without people stopping me every 15 feet to ask about my heritage or to tell a story about their heritage. Sure, there are times when kids tell their mother or father "that guy's wearing a skirt", and other times when people confuse a skirt I'm wearing for a kilt. A year ago, I was wearing a ruffled above-knee skirt and had a teenage girl say "kick-ass kilt". Had to kinda laugh internally at that response, since it looks not at all like a kilt.

So, my traditional kilts remain in the closet. Am I happy about that? Sometimes. But, there are times when I do feel like pulling one out and throwing it on. These days, the heaviest weight skirt (and most expensive one, at that) I wear is my Nightwatch Camo Utilikilt. It actually gets too warm to wear around 80-85 degrees F. With respect to people calling utility kilts skirts, that's what they are. Even Steven Villegas says that a Utilikilt is a skirt. I think that's part of the reason why I tend to treat them as such and not wear kilt-related items with one, but stuff I'd normally wear with a regular skirt. Frequently, I'll wear trouser socks or sheer knee-highs, depending on what the weather is like, with mine. Wouldn't dare do that with a tartan kilt.

-J

[dillon]

Maybe you need a tee shirt that says "If you want to hear my bagpipes, just pull my finger."

[jeanfor]

I wear mostly light kilts (I have a couple of real kilts but they are way to warm for the summer and too dressed up) and plaited skirts length varying from 19 to 23". Even when I wear a pleated skirts people see it as a kilt and I sometimes get the "Are you a Scotsman?" I tend to wear skirts more often because I want to be accepted as a man wearing skirts. It also depends on my mood, the weather, temperature and humidity. I believe that whatever type of skirt/kilt you wear, if you are a man in a skirted garment, people will associate you with the Scotsman unless you wear a really feminine skirt.