A new generation wants us to transcend gender and just see humans, and their clothes.
The money line of that article is the last.
rode_kader said,
So a guy in a skirt not trying to pass as female isn't going to trigger either the trans, or the gay box. I think we're in a new box that generally doesn't bother the vast majority of people.
This squares with my experience.
Steve said,
Ralph, broadly speaking I quite agree about the assumptions that will be made by a fairly substantial section of society.
Faldaguy, you have thrown this same assertion my way in the past and what makes your experience so overwhelmingly "typical"?
Ok, no statistics but the simple fear of such prejudice is sufficient to deter many men from even trying on a skirt let alone being out in public in one.
I'm married too and I have a full beard into the bargain but I am damn sure that doesn't mean a thing in this case.
Oh by the way, I am not paranoid either but "they" are still out to get me!
So, is it all of us collectively that "they're" out to get or just you
personally?
My experience tracks exactly with Faldaguy's, but again anecdotal evidence isn't evidence. Nor are unsupported assumptions.
It's doubtful that anyone cares enough to actually run a statistically valid study on this question so, let's consider this. Participants in this forum have been very willing, if not eager, to share their experiences and the lessons they have learned from them. There are lots of us who, like Faldaguy and I, are very public with our skirt wearing, continue to do so and keep saying, 'Jump on in; the water's fine!'
By contrast, how many people have said, "I don't know what planet those guys live on but, the reality is this: If you go out in public in one of your skirts, you'll have so many people tell you you're gay you're going to start doubting your sexual orientation!' '? Answer ... NONE!
Seven years ago dresses and skirts became my usual attire. In that time I had exactly one person ask me if I was gay. Before I could answer he followed up with, "I'll bet you get asked that a lot." Which gave me the perfect opening, "No, I'm not and you're the only one who's asked me that!"
Three years ago, I started letting my hair grow out and consistently wearing makeup when I leave my apartment. A few months ago, just to get some confirmation, I asked a close long-time friend of mine if she ever felt she was interacting with a woman when I'm around her. She said, "When you get out of your car and start walking up my drive, I see a woman. As soon as you start talking, I hear a man," and doesn't get any sense she's dealing with anyone other than the man she's known for 40-some years.
That said, I now get called "Ma'am" sometimes and some of those times I'm sure it was because the other person was trying to be respectful of what they assumed was a transwoman. So be it. I'm glad so many people are trying to be that respectful of others. But before I had my hair restored at Hair Club I
NEVER got mistaken for a woman. People always called me "Sir" with the usual amount of respect.
Bottom line: There's no factual reason to believe that anyone assumes you're gay and in the case of those of you who wear facial hair, have pronounced bald spots or don't wear your hair long, no factual reason to think anyone's going to mistake you for being a transwoman. Even if they do, WHAT OF IT?! They're not going to treat you much differently.
I qualify that last sentence because awhile ago an associate at the superstore where I do the bulk of my shopping asked, "Ma'am? Could I help you find something?"
Figuring it wasn't worth the bother to correct him, I told him I was looking for blades for my utility knife. Because he thought I was a woman and couldn't possibly be looking for anything but a handicraft knife blade, he took me to the right aisle, but the wrong side of it. Then he apologized for not having blades and only having complete knives.
Not seeing either the blades I needed or utility knives I asked him what he meant. So, he took down an Xacto knife. When I finally got across to him what I meant he took me across the aisle and sure enough, there was a package of utility knife blades.
He asked if there was anything else he could help me with. I demurred because I was so furious that in another second I would have used one of those blades to slit his throat!
I later turned the incident into a Facebook post explaining how I had just gained additional empathy for women who face that kind of nonsense on a daily basis.
But again, look at the most recent pictures I've posted here and remember that with my glasses or a Covid mask on, I look that much more feminine. As best as I can tell, almost none of you are going to run into the misidentifications that I do. So please, stop being a prisoner of your fears. As Faldaguy said, you won't believe how much happier you will be once you go out in public as your authentic self.
