Out and About -- In the World at Large

[DenIM]

Tues 20th Jan 2015 is the day when I start on the Digital Photography Beginners course. I’ve been looking forward to it since I enrolled last July. I've already informed the course tutor that I wear skirts and her reply was that it’s okay with her but there will be eleven other people on the course. It’s going to be interesting not just for the subject matter of the course but also because my enthusiasm for wearing skirts will be scrutinised closely by eleven strangers. Here goes… I’ll report back soon after the event.

[DenIM]

In terms or wearing a skirt in a room in front of 11 complete strangers, it was a non-event. No encouraging nor disparaging comments or looks but then we didn't have time to mingle because there was a lot of subject matter to be covered.
The course itself sounds like it’s going to be brilliant!

[Caultron]

...In terms or wearing a skirt in a room in front of 11 complete strangers, it was a non-event. No encouraging nor disparaging comments or looks...

I'm glad to hear this worked out OK for you.

Truly, people really don't care what you wear.

[STEVIE]

Hi DenIM,
Well done, I'm guessing that was a daunting prospect and you got past it.
Caultron is right, most people don't care but I reckon that "creatives" are the least judgemental.
Steve.

[Caultron]

...I reckon that "creatives" are the least judgemental...

I've reckon that also. In fact, although I've never through of it before, art districts and street fairs would be great places for a first outing. Coffee houses, too,

[Darryl]

Interesting night, tonight. Stopped on the way home from work at a seafood place wearing a bright red polo shirt, black pencil skirt, black walking shoes and light jacket.

5 people already inside waiting for their orders took my arrival with aplomb and went on about their business. After putting my order in and paying, I stepped over by a table and sorta went to 'parade rest.' After about 5 minutes I heard a 'tweet-tweeeuuuu' from the darkness outside. Quiet. Nobody reacted. After maybe another 5 minutes a much louder 'TWEEET-TWEEEEUUUUU' came from the darkness. I think I raised an eyebrow, Spock-like, and nothing else was heard. (Maybe he ruptured himself with that last one, whatever.) They called my number so I got my fish sandwich and went out with a couple that was just ahead of me and after getting into our vehicles we went our separate ways. No one in sight.

<shrug> Gave some thought to practicing my '1,000-yard stare' if they came in and if things went sufficiently downhill there's a technique we call the 'alien from hell' (think of the movie: Alien, and face-huggers,) that might serve to dissuade without causing much harm. So. Had my plans. Waited for my order, got it and left. Have another story in my bag.

--Jan 23--
Well, went back tonight, though about 2 hours earlier and still dark out. Quiet, uneventful, just above 32 F, and I was in a plaid hoodie, blue polo shirt, denim pencil skirt and the same shoes. Got my fish and left. This location is a wee bit west and south of the University of Louisville. Usually no problems of any kind around campus or nearby stores, shopping centers and so on.

[Kingussie]

Darryl,
I've been whistled at whilst I was wearing my kilt. I was in Norfolk, VA which is home to large Naval Base and therefore has a lot of sailors. I think that pretty much explains it all.

[dillon]

We went to see the film CitizenFour, a documentary about Edward Snowden and the NSA snooping into everyone's phone and internet communications, at Thalian Hall. I wore, to the chagrin of my wife, a gray corduroy miniskirt by Kuhl, light gray tights, over which I wore full-length gray legwarmers covering from my closed-back clogs up to my upper thighs, extending well beneath the skirt hem. Clogs were black, as well as my sweater. The only comment was a man who said I looked as if I was prepared for cross-country skiing (not sure why he thought that, but w/e), to which I replied "Not me. I can fall down easy enough without the help of skis and snow." The film was good, though hardly objective, and shed a good bit of light on Snowden, changing my opinion to some degree. I had, as leakers go, respected Bradley Manning, now Chelsea Manning, because he stayed to accept the consequences of his act of conscience. Snowden, it seemed to me, had aggrandized himself in his brief public interviews, as if to make himself a hero. After the film, I did have a more favorable image of him. No doubt that the things he revealed should have been revealed, though I doubt it will change anything the government does. Once they have tasted such power, they will not relinquish it without being stripped of that permission.

[Darryl]

Darryl,
I've been whistled at whilst I was wearing my kilt. I was in Norfolk, VA which is home to large Naval Base and therefore has a lot of sailors. I think that pretty much explains it all.

Aye. Though I was an airdale sailor (aviation) I know the mindset. I guess I was always too much of a computer geek/nerd even then to participate.

[crfriend]

No doubt that the things [Snowden] revealed should have been revealed, though I doubt it will change anything the government does. Once they have tasted such power, they will not relinquish it without being stripped of that permission.

An interesting facet of Snowden's "revelations" about the abuse of power that the United States government gets away with on a daily basis is that they were pretty well known, albeit not to much of the general public. Following the events of 2001-09-11, the US government had two choices: go after those who attacked the United States or mount an all-out assault on civil liberties. It, unfortunately, chose the latter -- and since there was no one willing to protest or call them out on it the problem went largely undetected. I recall a conversation between some fellow geeks, some of whom have interesting friends, sometime in the 2004 or 2005 time-frame (before my computer-history place had to move as gamblers had bought the mill we were in at the time -- which remains vacant and decaying to this day) describing Prism right down to the last technical detail and even calling it out by name. My main thought at the time was, "Why are they bothering? The level of noise they're going to get dwarfs any real value."

"Osama bin Forgotten" remained a standing joke until he was finally brought down while being harbored in what was supposedly a friendly nation, but Prism and all the other insults remain in force to this very day. I rather think that what the NSA are looking for are clues that trouble is starting up from inside the country, mainly around class and privilege lines, as the bulk of the population is pushed into poverty and gets disenfranchised by the political system. The top 0.01% of the population have a very real need to look over their collective shoulder for what they're doing to their fellow citizens -- and they deserve that fear.

[dillon]

Out with the wife to see the Tim Burton film Big Eyes. Amy Adams was good, and the film was as well. I wore my short gray woolen skirt by Woolrich, with black cable-knit tights and a gray sweater. Had some odd looks in the Port City Java beforehand, and in a couple errands at a Petco and a supermarket before and after, but no big deal. I was very pleased with the outfit and even my wife said it looked good.

[Sinned]

Today was my skirted day and MOH wanted to go out for lunch and do some shopping. Absolutely vetoed any skirt so I went in jeans. Changed when we got back late afternoon. The plate that I got two weeks ago shed a tooth a couple of days ago and so I had to take it across town to the dentists to go for repair. I would go about 7pm as tea time traffic can be bad. My wife asked if I was going as I was and I said I was. She said, "Well if you have an accident or are stopped then I'm not going to get you from the police station." I said, "I was going when it was dark and where does the police station come from? If I ended up at the police station it would have absolutely nothing to do with wearing a skirt. Funnily enough it's not illegal for a man to wear a skirt at any place or time in this country so why do you would think that I would end up at the police station?" She also said that she fully expected before I was 65 to have "completed the transition" as she put it. "Long hair, ear rings, tights and a skirt. "All you need is a bra to complete the look." I refused the opportunity to argue and simply said, "No way, but time will tell." Out of T-shirt, top, skirt, holdups and shoes it would only be skirt that could be considered female. Not going any further than that as you know what I mean. Holdups are in middle ground as they can be either. There weren't many of the traditional arguments that she didn't toss at me today.

Interestingly she STILL hasn't asked me if I'd worn a skirt out during the day/evening before. It's one of the first questions I would have asked should the situation be reversed. Especially as I have hinted in saying that people just don't care, etc etc. Maybe in some way she's in denial about it or maybe afraid to ask.

[crfriend]

"Well if you have an accident or are stopped then I'm not going to get you from the police station."

My retort to that would have been, "If you get stopped sometime, or have an accident and get taken to the police station, I'd go get you even if you were crossdressed. It's the right thing to do for one's spouse and best friend." And would then drop it cold.

There are times, reading some of these travails, the primal beast in me sticks his little head up and whispers, "Why not give her a good thumping? That'd show her you're still a manly man." My mental reaction quickly counters that and tells the sorry little sod to go and pack it (That's part of being civilized.). But I viscerally understand the level of outright frustration involved.

"I won't pick you up" if you're involved in a (traffic) accident. How senseless and mean is that statement? If I ever uttered anything like that I would have large reason to be entirely ashamed of myself. And my partner would think so, too.

[Sinned]

Crl, Thanks for your comments and it's easy to be wise after the event. Yes, maybe that's what I should have said but my brain went awol at the wrong time. If MOH ended up at the police station, hospital or in any sort of trouble even if dressed as the Incredible Hulk with a bishop's mitre on her head and waving a devil's trident then I would have no hesitation in going to her aid. As for violence then it isn't in me ( at least not with her, others perhaps ) and wherever did you get the idea that people actually think never mind talk sense in irrational situations? Come on this is concerning something that is completely off the wall as far as she is concerned. If she actually thought about it she may realise what she was saying. She does seem to think that I am trying to look like a woman and may be wanting to BE a woman despite my protestations. Perhaps after my trip tonight we may get the talk a little.

Now here's a question that you have raised ( and I REALLY don't expect answers to this in this insecure thread ) - if push came to shove and YOH said basically "It's either the skirt or me" which would you choose? I'm not going to answer but ponder it in your heart and keep the answer to yourself.

[crfriend]

Now here's a question that you have raised ( and I REALLY don't expect answers to this in this insecure thread ) - if push came to shove and YOH said basically "It's either the skirt or me" which would you choose? I'm not going to answer but ponder it in your heart and keep the answer to yourself.

I would caution on making broad-brush statements as they tend to miss a whole lot of the subtleties that make up the average relationship.

One of the more common problems that individuals in relationships get into is that they realize that the person they married (or are living with, &c.) isn't "The One of Their Dreams". Rational types look at this and tend to go, "but is it working well enough to push through the difficulties?" and "Do I really want to be back 'on the market again'?", or any other number of similar things. The irrational ones try to force the other partner into conformance with their perceived ideals, and that's where things start going downhill right quick.

From experience, in all relationships -- especially long-haul ones -- both individuals are "imperfect", and in healthy relationships those imperfections are nothing more than an occasional irritant. In less-than-healthy ones, however, those imperfections (which are inevitable. mind) take on the quality of something that must be conquered -- and that's where things leave the rails entirely. There needs to be enough mutual respect between the two that small stuff really doesn't matter all that much. Large stuff does, but usually large differences and incompatibilities tend to show up pretty quickly, and usually during courtship -- of which the astounding majority fail; this is by design. By the time it comes to deciding on a contract-relationship (which is what a marriage or similar agreement amounts to) both parties should have a darned good idea of what they're both getting into; this is why it's key to be honest and very open during courtship because hauling on the ejection-lever then is a lot easier before the State gets involved in it.

On the overall scale of things, clothing is usually fairly far down on the list of irritants. The woman may grouse occasionally that the guy always looks like a slob, and guys are notoriously disappointed when their wives exit "hunting mode" and drop their pretty clothes for everyday drab, but that's just the way it is, and it's up to everybody to be an adult about it. This is one of the reasons I tend to be rather forceful in advocating for one's skirt-wearing to be brought to the fore very early in a relationship -- preferably before the courtship phase even begins. It's a "bozo filter". It's when something "off the wall" gets sprung, seemingly without reason, years in that it becomes a problem.