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Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2026 9:28 pm
by DrFishnets
Barleymower wrote: ↑Sat Feb 28, 2026 7:49 pm
Was I in a skirt? No not this time, the was a biting wind and I was expecting to be walking around for 4 hours+.
Shame on you BM! Shame on you!
Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2026 9:34 pm
by Barleymower
DrFishnets wrote: ↑Sat Feb 28, 2026 9:28 pm
Barleymower wrote: ↑Sat Feb 28, 2026 7:49 pm
Was I in a skirt? No not this time, the was a biting wind and I was expecting to be walking around for 4 hours+.
Shame on you BM! Shame on you!
I know part timer. I should have been raising the flag for MIS. I had two skirts with me and no tights. All my skirts are flared and it really needed something with a bit of length.
Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2026 9:38 pm
by Myopic Bookworm
One of the things I bought along with some of my early skirts was a "he/him" lapel badge. I don't often wear it now, as I'm less bothered about misgendering, but I still have it just in case.
Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2026 9:16 am
by JeffB1959
STEVIE wrote: ↑Sat Feb 28, 2026 1:19 pm
JeffB1959 wrote: ↑Sat Feb 28, 2026 10:28 am
I suppose the curiosity over whether or not we're perceived as being transgender is just something that comes with the territory.
Absolutely Jeff, and most times we won't even be aware that it's happening.
I have really learnt ration out my concerns over others views of me.
That privilege is only awarded to a very select few these days.
Steve.
I've never been actively aware of it either. People will see you, make a judgment (right, wrong or inbetween), then, return to their own lives and affairs. We're only in their orbit for a few seconds, then, more often than not, we're forgotten just as quickly. I don't dwell on that myself.
Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2026 10:16 am
by Mouse
I don't have any problem with people assuming whatever they like. If I am in conversation, I am open about what I am and have no problem in discussing the subject. In fact I love chatting about "me" and my style.
My main problem is when close family assume what other people are thinking and then transfer the "shame", "embarrassment" whatever, on to themselves, since they are associated with me. Then they take steps to change me to ease their feelings, by badgering Mrs Mouse. Hence why parts of my family are getting a very subdued Mouse in the darkest version of my work style I can field at the moment. They only get professional serious Mouse and if we are being serious have no interest in the real Mouse.
I know this is not healthy for me, but it is my coping mechanism at the moment since my relationship with Mrs Mouse is far more important than any of my family.
Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2026 6:01 pm
by Barleymower
Mouse you on the front line of dismantling of traditional gender binaries. Your family probably considers a skirt to be solely for women, a stereotype going back centuries of parent child conditioning. You along with many of us you are challenging that conditioning by going out and wearing skirts. You are definitely and defiantly a MIS but also a friend of anyone who chooses to express themselves by not wearing man box clothes. There is a lot of noise shouting down MIS but they don't understand that being fluid in ones dress does not make you any less of a man. If being a man is standing up for what you believe in then you are a man. A man who is advocating freedom for all men
We are part of a larger (and growing) community. We are meeting resistance but we are meeting that resistance is a peaceful manner. What I like most about the Café is the comradery and support we give each other. Over on the other channel it is filled with anger, accusation and hatred. If their way is the right way then I'm happy to be wrong. They are not in a happy place, it is a bed of their own making.
I think you are doing the right thing toning things down for the sake of Mrs Mouse and I'm sure you will be back soon enough, bigger and brighter than ever.
Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2026 7:37 pm
by Mouse
Barleymower wrote: ↑Tue Mar 03, 2026 6:01 pm
.......I think you are doing the right thing toning things down for the sake of Mrs Mouse and I'm sure you will be back soon enough, bigger and brighter than ever.
Thanks for your support BM. This has been going on since the back end of last year and is purely limited to visits to certain parts of my family. The rest of the time Mrs Mouse is fine with what ever I want to wear and often compliments me on my outfits. As I have said before, I am a very fortunate to have her.
Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2026 4:53 pm
by jamie001
Barleymower wrote: ↑Tue Mar 03, 2026 6:01 pm
Mouse you on the front line of dismantling of traditional gender binaries. Your family probably considers a skirt to be solely for women, a stereotype going back centuries of parent child conditioning. You along with many of us you are challenging that conditioning by going out and wearing skirts. You are definitely and defiantly a MIS but also a friend of anyone who chooses to express themselves by not wearing man box clothes. There is a lot of noise shouting down MIS but they don't understand that being fluid in ones dress does not make you any less of a man. If being a man is standing up for what you believe in then you are a man. A man who is advocating freedom for all men
We are part of a larger (and growing) community. We are meeting resistance but we are meeting that resistance is a peaceful manner. What I like most about the Café is the comradery and support we give each other. Over on the other channel it is filled with anger, accusation and hatred. If their way is the right way then I'm happy to be wrong. They are not in a happy place, it is a bed of their own making.
I think you are doing the right thing toning things down for the sake of Mrs Mouse and I'm sure you will be back soon enough, bigger and brighter than ever.
Barley,
What is the “other channel” that you are referring to? I am always interested in investigating different perspectives.
Thanks,
-jamie
Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2026 7:27 am
by Barleymower
jamie001 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 04, 2026 4:53 pm
Barley,
What is the “other channel” that you are referring to? I am always interested in investigating different perspectives.
Thanks,
-jamie
It's mumsnet Jamie. I've PM'd you on my experiences there.
Re: Does anyone assume you are transgender?
Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2026 3:51 pm
by jamie001
Barleymower wrote: ↑Thu Mar 05, 2026 7:27 am
jamie001 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 04, 2026 4:53 pm
Barley,
What is the “other channel” that you are referring to? I am always interested in investigating different perspectives.
Thanks,
-jamie
It's mumsnet Jamie. I've PM'd you on my experiences there.
Thanks.