Difficulties with partners

[Kilty]

Hi Steve, I wondered when we would get a contribution from you as I know that you are in a similar position and thanks for your words. I have been waiting for your missive with bated breath. You are right in that it is just the garment and not any particular colour, length, material, size or style - she just says that she sees woman when she sees skirt. I am going to try, without any guarantee of success, and slowly persuade her to think of the skirt as not the woman's province any more, partly on the basis of probably the majority of women not wearing one any more, but also on the evidence of an increasing use among men. I have articles from several sites that I will try and get her to read and it will be a major achievement just to get her to read them. I have heard a side-remark by SHMBO that she thinks that I do have some crap skirts and maybe I have and I can work with her on weeding out which ones she thinks are not worthy....

Kilty, do you seriously want me to post photos of me wearing all my skirts? I have started posting particular looks and I will be posting some failures and looks that make me REALLY, REALLY uncomfortable. I don't need feedback on a lot of them because I do feel that I have a sense of what style I wish to project and what colours go with what. Like Moon, yourself, skirtsdad, Fred, Tom, Steve, Carl to name just a few off the top of my head I am comfortable and confident with what I wear. That doesn't mean that I don't try several skirts on with various tops ( where has that scenario come up before ) before making my choice and going out of the door.

10:40 postscript. I've had a good day so far, sunny but cool and warm enough for a T-shirt. In the chemist there were 7 women and me and I was the only one in a skirt, purple, bodycon, above knee. One of the assistants admitted that she hadn't worn a skirt seriously in over 10 years and had very few. None of them cared that I was in a skirt and admitted that it suited me. In the charity shop I had a conversation with Chris, the female assistant, about what style of skirt I was comfortable wearing and she agreed that if I feel comfortable then probably no-one would take any notice. I also said that I was on the lookout for a small bag with shoulder strap, black or white or a satchel as when I was wearing a skirt with no pockets .... We looked at some but none felt right for me but at least they can keep a lookout.

Dennis, it doesn't have to be all 100, just about 25 will do. It's a good idea to get opinion on what may work and what may not. We are all striving for the perfect skirted look that's totally natural

I can see your Mrs POV, that skirt=women. Perhaps adding a kilt or two could make her come around to your way of thinking? If you are skirted dsy in day out, well done. She will just have to accept it. Don't tiptoe round it or skirt the issue

[STEVIE]

That was just my tuppence worth to let you know that you are not alone.
Oddly, when I was out for lunch today I was called a "f*****g transexual" by a wee idiot made brave by his mates.
My response, "NAE REALLY"! He could only put that back, he really should have his eyes tested. I really do not look TG. The beard is a slight giveaway.
However, he may have expressed it crudely but our wives share a very similar sentiment and attitude.
I'd have loved to ask him when he was last approached by a very attractive Bermudan lass who wanted to ask about his choice of trouser.
That happened to me last week. I only wish I had adopted the skirt a whole lot earlier. Attractive young ladies never seemed interested when I could have really used it.
The best I can advise is think on and try to keep your own true self. That is not easy!
Steve.
PS Chuck in photos of you want but I doubt that would make any difference to your Mrs.

[Grok]

Stevie's mention of the f****g transexual comment reminded me of a story...about a traveler in the 19th century who came across one of the first women in bloomers. He described her as a "hermaphrodite"

We have a very long way to go.

[Sinned]

Well, just had a row with MOH about skirts. As far as she is concerned she would not go out with me wearing a skirt and she was against me wearing a skirt out of the house. She made much play about the other members' embarrassment factor and they were afraid to tell me that they didn't want me to wear a skirt. She also brought out the what if one of my grand-daughter's boyfriends spread it all over farcebook in spite. She also said that I wasn't considering other's feelings, especially her own and hence I was being utterly selfish and inconsiderate. Interestingly she said that both my youngest son's partner and my oldest son's partner both said that they weren't bothered about men wearing skirts they'd be against their partner wearing one. Even MOH thought that hypocritical. She balked at the concept that a woman can wear anything yet a man can't and hence didn't necessarily agree with it. At one stage she also called me queer but I put her down on that one. She said that I wasn't normal in my liking for bright colours and was always different from anyone else. I agreed on that and was never one to follow the crowd and my skirts were just another example of my pioneering spirit. I said that the word normal was probably the wrong one to apply to fashion and clothes but unconventional, different and perhaps even eccentric. She also said that my long hair, ear-rings, skirts and tights were too feminine. She considered that just a masculine top wasn't enough to say that I was dressing masculine. We're talking as such and she maybe thinks that she has won her round but she can't seem to accept any of my arguments for men's skirts. I don't think that I have even come close to convincing her but the really depressing part is that she won't even open her mind enough to research the subject on the Internot. So, Jenn, if you think that she was close to accepting, there's your answer.

One good, point, she accepts that the purple dress is not for me so I have handed it back to her. She says that she doesn't remember buying it in ASDA, nor does she remember giving me the black dress and said that maybe it was too small until I showed her it was a size 20, maybe it's a small 20.

[Fred in Skirts]

Sinned, I am sorry to hear about the latest chapter in the ongoing feud between you and your OH. She sounds like she thinks she is the only person who is allowed to have an opinion on you wearing a skirt.
Since I do not have this kind of trouble (it pays to be single sometimes ) I can not give you any advice as what to do. I can only say what I would do if she was my wife. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you will wear what you want when you want too. And if she says she is the boss then have the nards to stand up to her and prove she is not.



Fran

[Reaper_Man]

Tell her in no uncertain terms that you will wear what you want when you want too. And if she says she is the boss then have the nards to stand up to her and prove she is not.

sadly any man that has ever been married will tell you that it's not quite as simple as that, life would be so much easier if it was lol

i was fortunate to have the support of my wife although she was sceptical at first, not because she thought i was gay or weird or a crossdresser etc, her concerns were about other peoples reactions towards a man in a skirt or dress, however those concerns were short lived when i finally convinced her to allow me to wear a skirt on a shopping trip and see for herself that it was a non issue and most people either didn't notice or just didn't care

Dennis has your OH seen any other men in skirts (either in photographs or real life)? perhaps if she was to see another man in a skirt/dress out and about she might start having second thoughts when she sees that no one actually notices or cares

[Sinned]

RM, I have tried to get her to read any of the many, many articles online about men's skirt wearing but she just won't read them and expresses no interest in them. I have got to the stage where I don't involve her any more and, a bit like Steve, just do my own thing, just not when she is around. She knows that I wear skirts outside when she's not around. Unfortunately she only works one day a week and some evenings so that doesn't exactly give me a lot of scope. It seems that she seems illogically scared of what others, our neighbours, friends and so on will think. The fact that they already probably know seems irrelevant and that I don't care is irrelevant as she seems to.

Fran, as RM said it's just not quite as easy as saying that I'm going to wear them anyway and like it or lump it. It's not a matter of having the nads it's a matter of the D word rearing its head and I don't want that. The financial and emotional aspects scare me. Unhappy as I am I could be in a worse situation.

[Gregg1100]

In case it has been said before, it is all about her---how the neighbours will see her, what will others think of her, what family will think of her.
I fortunately don't have the aggro a lot have in this site, but I don't go out in skirts because of what I think people will say about wife- I personally couldn't care less. The Welsh are a piss taking nation( they hate ridicule coming back their way though- don't dish it, and none will come back). Again, fortunately the wife is accepting, taking pics, buying me clothes, shoes and unmentionables. I do feel for the people here having one sided grief, when in reality it is all about her feelings and perceived standing in community. Been together for 49 years, married for 47 in 3 weeks, and never seen her in trousers- she doesn't have any.

[Pdxfashionpioneer]

Having been married and divorced 3 times (strictly speaking working on 3rd divorce) I feel you hit the nail on the head Greg 1100.

Sinned, is there any chance that your wife is still open to you two going to a marriage counselor?

I think any counselor is going to do their very best to get you two to discuss this issue rationally and help you come up with a compromise you both can feel good about. Right now you've got a compromise neither of you feel good about.

For you two to have been together as long as you have there's got to be a strong connection and this issue is shredding it.

[Elisabetta]

Sinned I am going to be honest with you and give you the best advice I know how to. I've not been married to Moonshadow as long as you've been married to your wife but I can tell you that Moon and I compromise.

I've read your post about this situation for weeks now maybe longer than that. In every post I've read I've seen your wife control you. I hate to use that word but it's true she's controlling what you do , how you do it and when you do it. This milestone in life for once isn't about your wife. This isn't about how you wearing skirts makes HER FEEL or what someone else will say that makes HER feel. Your wife is only thinking of her feelings and lacking to see how YOU feel. She's making you wearing skirts all about her feelings and could give a hoot in regards to your feelings. I understand you love your wife but I hate to say it like this but you need to stand up to your wife put your foot down. You can do it in a polite way but you need to have a back bone and a pair of balls than to allow this from your wife daily. I get the fact that your worried about Divorce. Although divorces are never fun I can tell you either is being miserable everyday. You can see in reading your post you're unhappy and that's not a good place to be. Life is suppose to be good. People to be happy and enjoy what's left of us in life before God takes us home. I'm not sure if a Marriage Counselor can fix this because it seems your wife won't even communicate on this topic. Maybe you two can try a separation if things don't improve. Sorry again but I'm a very honest person and I hate seeing someone dealing with a spouse whose being unreasonable as your wife is being. She needs to realize these things below.


1. It's just an article of clothing
2. You're not harming or hurting nobody
3. Life's short BE HAPPY
4. This isn't about her for once.
5. It doesn't define your character you're still the same man as if you were to wear trousers.
6. Were only given one life so live it to the fullest and not worry over petty sh1t.

[Sinned]

Dave, her idea of compromise is me wearing skirts in the house only and not full time. Full stop.

Jenn, the problem about a temporary separation is that we only have our children left as family and although she knows more people round about and has some friends I doubt any of them would be in a position to help. Our daughter lives around the corner and our youngest son not much further away but neither really has room to take one of us in. Our eldest son lives about 3 hours drive away so is too far for us to consider. So we are really stuck with each other and I wouldn't want to separate anyway and I don't think she would either. So I guess I could take a risk and call her bluff but unfortunately she is of the determined type character that is she did go she may not even tell me where she has gone to and it may be difficult to communicate with her and get her back. I think that she would be the one to leave - I certainly wouldn't. Thinking about feelings is a two-edged sword because, although I can say that she isn't considering my feelings as a nearly 62 year old man, she could also say that I am not considering not only her feelings but also the feelings of my children and grand-children also.

As for controlling, from what I have read, it goes further than that and amounts virtually to partial domestic abuse. Partial in that of the contributors of physical, threats and intimidation, sexual, emotional ( put me down, make me feel bad, possibly humiliation), isolation and jealousy (control what I do, limit and discourage outside involvement) and use of children (encourage children to take sides, make me feel guilty about the children) the last three are the ones relevant to our situation. There is something else but I don't want to discuss that here.

[moonshadow]

It sounds like to me you're gonna fight either way... so why not just get your money's worth and do what you want?

[Fred in Skirts]

I have had three wives. The first decided she wanted more variety in who she slept with and when I would not give her a divorce (WE had 2 kids) she went to court with her mother ( mother in law from hell) and got one. The second one was so controlling that I got the divorce, The third one just wanted to have some one take care of her and her kids until they were all moved out it was a quiet divorce as there was no fighting. There will never be a forth wife. I am now too set in my ways to allow it. So as I said before and Jenn has reiterated do something, because you are living in a wash of control and yes it is abuse and from the sounds of it you are not even allowed to control anything in your life at all, without making her madder and even more controlling. Stand up to her and stop the control before it kills you.

Wishing you all the best,

Fred

[Disaffected.citizen]

Dennis,

Have a look here. Hopefully, it's not as bad as this might seem.
Also, review section 76, Serious Crime Act 2015.
Maybe contact Mankind
There are fewer resources for men than women because society at large do not see that domestic violence and abuse is a gender free crime; the vast majority of police resources, politicians wind, and media frenzy surround stories of women beaten by men. If they looked carefully, they might see through feminist manipulation, but there's none so blind as those who choose not to see! Until the abused men stand up (yes, I'm one of those semi-hiding) and make the world take note, things will not change.

Hoping things get better. When we leave this world we should go with memories, not dreams!

[STEVIE]

Here's one, I tried today. Sadly, it failed.
I do believe that it is quite OK to choose to wear trousers on my own terms.
There is to be another family occasion which I have declined to attend with Mrs Kennedy. However, I tried a compromise on the basis of her trusting my choice and accepting it either way. No, that is most certainly not acceptable.
What she couldn't accept is that I may have opted to be trousered. End result ,a peaceful weekend next week!
This still involves her side of the family and they are all aware and "cool" with it as far as I know.
Steve.