Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2022 8:16 pm
My wife and I did this at a little place on an out island in the Bahamas for a week, smiles were definitely worn.
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Ideal outfit
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Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2022 8:16 pm
The cut, style, and colour of this dress is ... so lovely.STEVIE wrote: ↑Mon Dec 12, 2022 6:37 am
That is the perfect fabric for my doublet/tunic ensemble!
Now I just have to find a stunning rich benefactrix, with an eye for style and an interest in grizzled old dudes.
No challenge there then, probably see at least three on way to office this morning.
One meets all kind of interesting folks on the bus you know.
Steve.
Alexander McQueen you rock!
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2022 4:35 pm
I’d wear that dress in a heartbeat!Barleymower wrote: ↑Mon Dec 12, 2022 8:16 pmThe cut, style, and colour of this dress is ... so lovely.STEVIE wrote: ↑Mon Dec 12, 2022 6:37 am
That is the perfect fabric for my doublet/tunic ensemble!
Now I just have to find a stunning rich benefactrix, with an eye for style and an interest in grizzled old dudes.
No challenge there then, probably see at least three on way to office this morning.
One meets all kind of interesting folks on the bus you know.
Steve.
Alexander McQueen you rock!
Capture.JPG
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2022 8:06 pm
I'm not quite sure which dress you are referring to Jeff but if it's the Alexander McQueen....
Me too!
Me too!
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2022 7:40 pm
I would love to be able to wear short to long skirts, with tights and boots/flats whenever I liked. As in the photo below. Nothing to eye catching really but it feels like it will never be accepted as ok. Certainly not by my wife! 
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2022 7:43 pm
Have you talked to her about it?
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2022 7:58 pm
I have it is a real issue for her and we’ve been married for 33 years. It is of course a real issue for me too, increasingly frustrating.
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2022 8:46 pm
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 10:43 am
We have discussed it at length and she knows the detail. We've been on quite a journey I suppose because in the early days I fully cross dressed and considered myself transvestite because I didn't even think that fusing traditionally gender biased clothing and presenting male was a thing.Over the last 10 years I've realised that being myself is actually being masculine and presenting male but wearing the clothes that make me feel happy and truly at ease and at peace with myself. This has been something which she finds easier, much easier behind closed doors but she simply cannot accept that I could wear skirts and tights in public. I have of course but it has been without her knowledge. When I consider why, I think it is because she gone through the same conditioning as the rest of us and she interprets it as me being less manly that she can tolerate. Put simply it embarrasses her. I wish she could 'get' it because with her support I would go for it full time but I'm not willing to risk upsetting our very long relationship. Hers is the last barrier for me but I absolutely don't want to lose her and I think if I ignored her that might happen. Had she said that as an ultimatum? No, but I think she thinks it.
What to do?
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 11:31 am
"In the early days I fully cross dressed and considered myself transvestite because I didn't even think that fusing traditionally gender biased clothing and presenting male was a thing"BFTights wrote: ↑Fri Dec 16, 2022 10:43 amWe have discussed it at length and she knows the detail. We've been on quite a journey I suppose because in the early days I fully cross dressed and considered myself transvestite because I didn't even think that fusing traditionally gender biased clothing and presenting male was a thing.Over the last 10 years I've realised that being myself is actually being masculine and presenting male but wearing the clothes that make me feel happy and truly at ease and at peace with myself. This has been something which she finds easier, much easier behind closed doors but she simply cannot accept that I could wear skirts and tights in public. I have of course but it has been without her knowledge. When I consider why, I think it is because she gone through the same conditioning as the rest of us and she interprets it as me being less manly that she can tolerate. Put simply it embarrasses her. I wish she could 'get' it because with her support I would go for it full time but I'm not willing to risk upsetting our very long relationship. Hers is the last barrier for me but I absolutely don't want to lose her and I think if I ignored her that might happen. Had she said that as an ultimatum? No, but I think she thinks it.
What to do?
I don't remember a time back then when it was thing either. I decided that was what I was going to do recently. I discovered on this board and the Web that more men are doing it.
"clothes that make me feel happy and truly at ease and at peace with myself"
I know this feeling too. I can't speak for you but I need this.
"I think it is because she gone through the same conditioning as the rest of us and she interprets it as me being less manly that she can tolerate"
I've said before that women are social animals and how they are perceived affects them.
Maybe try this: around the house stick to manly skirts. Tarten utility kilts no tights. See if she says you look good? If she does then say "would you be seen out with me like this?"
I've got this one:
https://www.horror-shop.com/p/short-kil ... e-rot.html
If that works you can gradually bring in more styles until she says no?
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:25 pm
Hi guys, that makes 3 of us and it really was not a "thing".Barleymower wrote: ↑Fri Dec 16, 2022 11:31 am I don't remember a time back then when it was thing either.
There was no real fluidity, male or female, binary was a thing though.
It was some weird "thing" that got 70s computer geeks all hot and bothered.
It took me 50 years of bloody hard slog to discover my own fashion freedom.
BTW I have been married for 41 years.
Steve.
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2022 9:26 pm
Indeed. I spent 30 or so years thinking I was gay, or transsexual (back then it was all about changing sex, not just changing "gender") or transgender when that became a thing. I tried on labels like "non-binary" and "genderfluid" when those became popular, because it took that long for me to finally realise that yes, a man can be a man but still wear and do things that society claims belongs to the other half.
I wonder how many people drawn into the transgender life would be okay with "gender nonconforming" as their biological birth sex if society would quit telling them "you can't be a boy because boys don't do such things." I don't mean for a moment to suggest that transgender isn't real, only that it shouldn't be the first thing parents and psychologists jump to when their 3-year-old boy wants to wear a princess dress or their little girl wants to play football.
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2022 10:28 pm
That is certainly one of the arguments I have stashed at the back of my mind in case the question should ever arise.Ralph wrote: ↑Sun Dec 18, 2022 9:26 pm I wonder how many people drawn into the transgender life would be okay with "gender nonconforming" as their biological birth sex if society would quit telling them "you can't be a boy because boys don't do such things." I don't mean for a moment to suggest that transgender isn't real, only that it shouldn't be the first thing parents and psychologists jump to when their 3-year-old boy wants to wear a princess dress or their little girl wants to play football.
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2022 11:03 pm
I think you are on to something. I believe part of the reason so many men are full of anger is the fact that they are taught to not show emotion or anything that society deems to be feminine. I have come to believe that we all have qualities of the opposite gender. "Tom girls" have been around a long time and are hailed as heroes. Let a man be a "Tom girl" and society would have a fit.Myopic Bookworm wrote: ↑Sun Dec 18, 2022 10:28 pmThat is certainly one of the arguments I have stashed at the back of my mind in case the question should ever arise.Ralph wrote: ↑Sun Dec 18, 2022 9:26 pm I wonder how many people drawn into the transgender life would be okay with "gender nonconforming" as their biological birth sex if society would quit telling them "you can't be a boy because boys don't do such things." I don't mean for a moment to suggest that transgender isn't real, only that it shouldn't be the first thing parents and psychologists jump to when their 3-year-old boy wants to wear a princess dress or their little girl wants to play football.
Re: Ideal outfit
Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2022 3:26 am
Here is a potted version of my experience.
At age eight I KNEW that I wished to wear skirts, no doubts.
I also KNEW that I could not tell, skirts were for GIRLS and DEFINITELY not BOYS.
By fifteen, I had decided that skirts were still my preference but definitely not to become a GIRL.
As a BOY, I decided that, to wear a skirt, I had to PRETEND to be a GIRL.
In the absence of information to the contrary, that misconception blighted my life for thirty years.
My point is that I concluded that I was NOT transgendered all by MYSELF as a CHILD without reference to little more than snippets here and titbits there.
It was bloody hard and had I actually been able to tell, discuss and even more unlikely been LISTENED to, who knows how much different my life could have been.
I was asked a question, last week, "Do you like yourself better now that you can dress as you wish"?
Simple reply, "HELL YES"!
The saddest fact is that the scared to tell kid is still out there, they are not all as fortunate as Barleymower's boy.
Steve.