I can agree with that. Also, the idea that there is a solid, consistent crossdressing story to begin with. Like Brandy, I also quickly realized that Tri-Ess was not for me. Even their name means the "Society for the Second Self." Well there is no second self with me, I am who I am, and the more feminine aspects of my personality don't represent another person inside of me. This is one area where I feel I am very different from a lot of other crossdressers. I consider Tri-Ess to be like AA. If you're an alcoholic, AA is the largest and most recognized institution for recovery in America and it does work for a lot of people. Yet for some people, it doesn't. Some people find their own way towards recovery, and it doesn't mean they're not "true" alcoholics.I think the biggest flaw of "My Husband Betty" is that she took the crossdressing story hook line and sinker, and did not look at it with enough critical thinking skills.
I don't find it scary at all. I am willing to admit that I am a transgendered person. I have a couple of times over the years taken the COGIATI test, and I'm aware that the test is not entirely scientific and has it's flaws, but when I have taken it, my results have consistently shown my brain to be mostly androgynous but slightly on the male side of the spectrum. So while my thought patterns tend to be more in line with how men usually think, I do often think about things like women do as well.In the framework I set out, I would call this a "transgender experience" or "transgender feeling." Big scary term.
I guess this part of the conversation comes to a stalemate because we both have different personal definitions about when the actions become "crossdressing" or not. To most here, you're not crossdressing till you try to present as a member of the opposite sex. I understand the reasoning behind that view of the term, and I also know that I'm in the minority here in my views on it. Let me reiterate that when I say I am a crossdresser, I am speaking only for me. I do think that for me the lines between when I'm crossdressing and when I'm a guy in a skirt are more blurred than they are for most on here.Just go against the gender norm, wear the dress and don't try to pretend that you're upholding the very gender norms that you're breaking.
Now, onto Carl's points:
I wasn't reading more onto your statement, I was contrasting how you were saying it, which is a solid point, to how it often comes across when said another way. Your statement didn't mention crossdressers, it only talked about you being a man and wearing a skirt. It's positive and reinforcing without needing to cast aspersions on another group. It just doesn't worry about the other group.I believe you may be reading more into my statement than was intended; it was not my intent to cast aspersions onto the "orthodox crossdresser" community, but rather to set the "man in a skirt" apart and show him for what he is, and that is different from the orthodoxy.
Well, your example is also something I'd prefer to have us do away with. Kilts are skirts! But back to the original point, the attempt may be to respectfully point up the difference but it usually comes across differently. Again, I'm not saying the people on this site should refer to themselves as crossdressers, I know there's a difference between guy wearing a skirt and crossdressing. But there is a certain negativity towards crossdressers/ing that gets expressed on this board, I think because people want so much to be seen as different."The public" will still likely lump the "man in a skirt" into the orthodoxy, but there is no reason we should encourage that, and the way to make that point is to respectfully point up the difference. The notion is similar to the way that kilt-wearers react when somebody mentions that they're wearing a skirt.
That's really the only thing I'd like to see changed via conversations like this. I just wish people could be more respectful and compassionate towards crossdressers, and not worry so much about one word. I mean seriously, if we can't handle hearing the word crossdresser from other men who wear skirts on a forum about men wearing skirts, I can't imagine how it would get handled when heard from someone in public who said it. And that's really what this is all about, presenting a solid public image of men wearing skirts, focused and confident in who they are, rather than concerned about who they are not.
A great example is advertising. Have you ever noticed that Coke and McDonalds advertise themselves, where as Pepsi and Burger King often advertise that they aren't Coke or McDonalds? Coke and McD's are the giants of their industries, so they have the confidence that all they need to do is push their own name and not worry about their competitors. It doesn't matter though that men in skirts aren't the giants, we should behave as if we are, because the confidence is the key.
